What If...

I wonder that so many times a day still. Bomar had a choice that day Nov.2, 2007 when Ed walked in to his office. He could have listened and used his detective brain and remembered all those complaints made on Kevin. His excessive phone calls to Pam. His disturbing stories. If he only investigated Ed's claims instead of calling Kevin maybe my sister would be ALIVE today.
So today I will think about what if. As I wish I could pick that phone up and call her.
Heaven sent~1974 ~ Heaven bound~2007

Happy Birthday Pam

Heaven sent July 2, 1974 Heaven Bound November 4, 2007
Pam,
It is 7:30 am and 36 years ago you were born. Oh the happiness your dad and I felt I feel now. I wish you were here so I could say Happy Birthday to you instead of going to the cemetery to send you balloons. In everything we do you’re here in our thoughts, our minds and our souls. You are never far. I love you baby girl.
There are no real words that describe how much dad and I miss you! We love you and hang on to god’s promise we will be together again someday. Happy Birthday.
Now and Forever
Mom and Dad

First Letter of John

First Letter of John

First letter of John 2: 9-11 Whoever says, “I am the light, while hating a brother or sister, is still in the darkness. Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light, and in such a person, there is no cause for stumbling. But, whoever hates another believer is in darkness, walks in darkness and does not know the way to go because the darkness has brought on blindness.


Matthew 26: 14-16 Then one of the twelve who was called Judas Iscariot went to the chief priests and said, “What will you give me if I betray Him to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he began looking for an opportunity to betray Him.

Post from MiOIDV

Post from MIOIDV
This is yesterday's post on MIOIDV blog spot. I was in total rage when I read it. I took a long walk on the beach (which was wonderful) and worked in the garden. Took a long deep breath and told myself not to loose focus. I have a wonderful network of people that are there to help and give Pam's memory the respect it deserves. Which we are working on and I'll keep you posted. Thank you for your thoughtful comments and prayers. They really mean a lot. Peace


Wednesday, March 31, 2010
MARCH 23, 2010 :

Please bookmark the new MIOIDV Pam Aukerman pages:
http://pamelaaukermanbrainard.blogspot.com/


http://pamelaaukerman.blogspot.com/

I secured these two websites for Laura Spars/ MIOIDV Corp. [Pam Aukerman's best friend]. The decision of which one Laura will use, is still up in the air. A couple of days ago, the two individuals who hijacked the original Pam Aukerman website deleted all of my posts. But what really cut to the core, was the act of them deleting Laura's beautiful 'from the heart' writings to her friend Pam, from that website. Laura's wonderful insightful letters detailed the first two years of hers and others close to Pam, as they came to grips with the devistating aftermath of the officer involved domestic violence murder of Pam.

What did they leave on the original website? My MIOIDV legislation which they are now claiming is their legislation. Hmmm....


MARCH 13, 2010 :
As most of you are aware, the MIOIDV website that I created in Pamela Aukerman Brainard's name was hi-jacked. All but three posts on that website were mine and my material on that website was used for the 'Jenni Justice Fund'. This fund was attempting to solicite a quarter of a million dollars from individuals. People going to that site, saw all my work / posts on the site, and thought I was part of Jenni Justice Foundation. NOT!

The other OIDV site is now claiming copyright of the MIOIDV legislation and the MIOIDV Awareness bill that I authored. This has of course devistated me and I am very raw right now. I put my heart into my work. I do not do it for profit. I do it to raise awareness and to bring voice to MIOIDV victims.

For those of you doing research papers, etc., just cite: cite the website...cite the newspaper...cite the reporter.

Thank you,
Renee' Harrington

MIOIDV. Michigan Officer Involved Domestic Violence.
I've been told by our new DV advocate to stay off these sites until Renee' 'cools' off and I have. Renee' has done no such thing!!! I cannot even begin to tell you how disgusted and angry I AM! The only reason Renee' Harrington had contacted me was for her own agenda. She could have cared less for PAM, HER FAMILY OR FRIENDS!!!!!!!! This website that I supposedly high jacked from Renee' was given to ME BY RENEE'.
sur5er1998 to you, bousse_2000, drakefamily03 - Jun 29 2009
Regarding Pam's Blogspot: Jen, you know that Deon and I created that website for you and your family...and that the website was given to you. Now why would you need to ask me if you can use the postings on your site? As for all of Laura's post I have them saved for her.
My sister would be disgusted by you Renee'. Just like I had to do she would have done-CUT YOU OFF!
Oh and your legislation you signed over copy rights to my family.
In May of 2007, Representative Kimberly Meltzer (Macomb County, MI), requested that Renee' Harrington and Cheryl Rozman write a draft for an officer involved domestic violence law.

On June 26, 2007, Renee' and Cheryl submitted to Representative Meltzer the 'Michigan Officer Involved Domestic Violence Legislation'.

Following the officer involved domestic violence murder of Pamela Aukerman, Renee' and Cheryl signed over all rights of the Michigan OIDV legislation to the Aukerman family, on November 05, 2007. After receiving copyright to the legislation, the Aukerman's renamed the legislation: "The Pamela Aukerman Michigan Officer Domestic Violence Law."

As of February 15, 2008 the Aukerman family has shared copyright of the Pamela Aukerman Officer Involved Domestic Violence Legislation with the Michigan Officer Involved Domestic Violence Corporation.
Renee' you changed the name of the legislation and the awareness day. I know how you work. You also changed the websites "mission" statement. I have left those on Pam's site because it shows your character. The reason you say you started MIOIDV was for PAM! Now you want to defend her on facebook and to set up another page. FORGET IT! It's to late to change now Renee' you've shown your true colors! You've done nothing but bring shame on Pam and us. I'm not trying to steal anything from you Renee' you gave it to us.
As for everything else Renee' Harrington of MIOIDV has to say I will not even comment on. I just wanted to let you all know this. And with everything our family has to deal with we have this to keep dealing with. I'm sorry to my Dad and Mom. to Kyle and Kayla to my brother David to Chase and Chelsie to my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. To Pam's friends and co workers. I'm so sorry Pam. I did not mean for this to happen. When others wanted to turn there back on a victim I couldn't. I believed her and I still do. I never knew that we would be in the middle of someone else fight. One step forward twenty back seems to be how it works. One day I know as a family we will be able to look in the sky and not cry but, be happy because Pam is with all her babies in heaven. Watching and waiting for us to join her and what a great day that will be. Any questions you can email me or give me a call.
Please say a extra prayer for my parents they'll need it in the coming month.
Posted by Pam's sister at 10:39 PM

A Poem from Kyle

A poem from Kyle

Mother Bear Mother Bear It was a cool summer morning the cemetery dripping wet from last nights dew.
The smell of yesterday's cut grass and the breeze blowing the relaxing aroma of lilac bushes.
I stand there and hear the birds chirping and the sound of water rushing out of the fountain.
The horizon lit with bright colors of red and orange.
The blueish, purple mix of colors made the tomb stone look soft and relaxing.
As I approach the stone, time seemed to stop, my heart felt to drop.
It's a sad feeling but a feeling of safety as I stood above my mothers grave.
Today is Sunday, the day we visited her.
I told her how things were going, but she can't talk back.
The words seemed to flow but I had to tell her it was time for me to go.
I walked away eyes starting to drip.
I stop and stared, and with a light voice I say "I love you".
Just to hear her say I love you back would be the best gift ever.
Hearing her voice would be so relaxing.
I tell myself this will never happen but I still stand there and listen.
Just waiting and waiting but nothing.
Not even a reply.

Two years Without You

Two years without you

Pamela Ann Aukerman Brainard , 7/2/74 11/4/07
Two Years have come upon us since you left us here on earth and joined our heavenly father and to be with the angles so pure. We go on with the knowledge that you are in the arms of the angels, free from suffering, pain, and sorrow. We know you are happy and smiling your beautiful smile in heaven. We all go on with out you here and try and live a new kind of balanced life. We hold tight to, hope, faith, love, family and Gods promise that one day we all will be together again.

Though it dose not stop the pain of loosing you, It dose not stop us from loving you, missing you. It dose not fill the empty space in our hearts and souls, nothing can ever fill that void, and it is yours forever. We are thankful for our precious memories they can laugh, smile or bring tears to our eyes depending on what kind of day were having.
The pain of our loss can still be almost unbearable at times, tears still fall at times I suspect they always will. The weight of the violent tragedy that took your precious life still heavy many a day .But thru all of this we stay strong moving forward one day at a time. For this we know with certain would be your wish for your children and family.
Pam your children are loved and cherished and very well taken care of, you are loved and missed so very much. So smile your beautiful smile and RIP.
All our love
Mom, Dad, Kyle, Kayla, Jen, David, Peggy
Chase~Chelsie~David~Mariah~Jonathan~Logan

We will always love/miss you.
Love, Chelsie

Pam is in the arms of the angle.
Love, chase .m. Aukerman

Brainards Pole Barn

Brainard's Pole Barn


This is a painting on Roger and Gloria Brainards pole barn outside of Otsego. A tribute to their hero Kevin. If you didn't know the story you would think he died an honorable death. That he was an up standing citizen and person. Well we know that is all a lie. Kevin did not die a hero. He died a murderer and coward! Kevin shot at my sister four times. Three hit her in the neck and face. This was no accident. Kevin could have stopped after one and called for help. NO he shot her two more times. Took off for an hour. He then came back and shot himself. So in my book this was no accident. The angel in the left hand corner shocked me. These people think he is in heaven. That God and his angels are watching over him. Uh NO, Kevin is in HELL!!! Burning for eternity.

A Christmas Letter for Pam

Christmas letter for Pam

Pam Aukerman
Christmas 2008
The holiday season is upon us once again, though are christmases will never be as we once knew. There is a void now that cab never be filled no matter how hard we try. Though we must carry on we will miss you, some tears will fall, thoughts of you will be strong. Past christmas memories of you will be strong and may bring a smile, of those beautiful memories and wishing all was the way it should be. You are by our sides. As we carry on this holiday season, you will be in our hearts and souls Thru all, the candles we light for you, Each snow flake that falls each gift we wrap, each carol sung, in all the lights on our trees. In the christmas season and prayers in the sparkle of your childrens eyes. In every memory of you we treasure and christmases past. You are and always are a part of our christmas celebration just in a new and different way. So this season as you celebrate in heaven smile your beautiful smile, sing and dance among the angles. You are loved, we are with you as you are with us.
All our love,
Mom and Dad
Kyle and Kayla
Jen, David, and Peggy
The children
Granny and Grandpa
And of course Nanny

A Memory of Pam

On Saturday I was on my way to drop off Chase, he was staying with his friend. Well I passed a garage sale. I had to stop. I promised Chase this was the only one. Chase of course found something he wanted. He went up to ask the lady how much it was, he did not believe me as usual. Well the lady turned out to be a lady I would go to church with. She thought Chase looked like my younger brother David, she looked at me and said Jennifer. We were talking and then Chase said my moms sister died he said, she was a nurse. Chase has not spoken out loud to a stranger about Pam. So I started to tell the story, the lady sitting next to the lady asked if she was an OB nurse . She was holding a young child. A child Pam helped deliver. She was one year and two days. She remembered Pam, her nurse. Pam loved working with the babies and mothers. She worked so hard to get there. To Pam it was worth it! She was proud of herself and we as her family was proud. Pam was remembered by her patients! Pam was right by my side when I gave birth. She was great! She was a great mom! A great Friend! Forever is a huge word. For eternity; without end. It is still so unreal.
Last summer Pam and I were camping ( I was with my ex-husband). One day the ex said to me "the next time your family sees you, you'll be in the obituary. When I told my sister that day. She was ready to call my parents. She insisted I go to the YWCA. We picked when I was moving, July 29. Chelsie's birthday. I moved to my parents. Two months later Pam was murdered in cold blood! I replay the phone calls with him. Trying to see if there were any signals before the last call. It was to late she was gone. The world lost a good soul. She touched so many life's. She loved and was loved. A part of me is missing. Pam I miss you. Goodnight

Officer Kevin Brainard is the only to BLAME?????

Never has the Aukerman family or friends blamed Roger, Gloria, Kim, for Kevin murdering Pam. The Aukermans blame Roger, Gloria, Kim for how they for handled themselves AFTER the murder.

1.) When my parents said they would be over to the Brainard's home to see Kayla. You ran to the courthouse to file emergency guardianship papers out. You lied about my parents. It was said my parents didn't want Kayla. That Pam didn't want Kayla at my parents home. And so on. What is even worse then that. Our family had the police called on them. You made us out to be bad people. IT DID NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!

2.) Before anyone had permission to enter the home, You cleaned it out! You tore my sisters belongings. You tore her medical bag apart. How disrespectful!

3.) You bad mouthed Pam. You made all these excuses up as to why Kevin killed her. He took on her ex's debt her credit card bills and so on. My sister made two to three times more money then Kevin! She did not need that from him.

I could go on forever. This website is Pam's family and friends! It's ours to write anything we want. If the Brainard's and Kim our offended by what we write. Stop acting like you are. We are not lying, we don't have a reason to.

Kayla is our baby girl. We love her so much and the games you played with us over her is unforgivable! We needed to come together for her and Kyle. They needed us to be strong for them. If you really took a look at the situation you would know Kayla wants to be here. Since day one she has told us all. So you need to look at yourself because when Kayla is older she'll ask why and how. She'll come to her own conclusions. We don't have to bad mouth the Brainard's or Kim. Their actions will speak for them!

One more thing, have you asked yourselves how could Kevin have done this to Pam if he loved his daughter?

Get Over It

Pam was an awesome person! Anyone that knew her knows that. We have great talks of her. She is never far from us. As her sister I have made the decision to share what her life was like with Kevin. And I also decided to share what our life has been like after Pam's murder. Because Pam would want to educate another victim. To educate another victims family. Some people think that this site is not of education material. That all we do is slam Kevin and his family. Not at all, we are stating all facts and if they sound bad to you think of what this B.S. is doing to me, my family, most of all Kyle and Kayla.
We have had great success with victims. We are helping here in our own community and elsewhere in Michigan. We are making great progress and we are building a support group for victims and there families. I am very proud of this site and MIOIDV. My sister did not die in vain. She will continue to live on.
The one thing my sister wanted more then anything was to divorce Kevin. To finally be free of him. To be safe. THAT IS WHY WE GAVE HER, HER LAST NAME BACK, AUKERMAN!!! So get over it.

November 5, 2007 news paper article

NOVEMBER 05, 2007: NEWSPAPER ARTICLE
Police suspect murder-suicide in Otsego
Posted by efinnert
November 05, 2007 09:12AM
Gazette Staff Reports
http://blog.mlive.com/kzgazette/2007/11/police_suspect_murdersuicide_i.html
OTSEGO -- An Otsego couple found shot Sunday appears to be a case of murder-suicide, police said.Officers responding to a call in the 700 block of Brookside Drive in Otsego around 10 p.m. were directed by a family member to the bodies of Kevin and Pam Brainard, both of whom had gunshot wounds, according to an Otsego Police Department news release.

Pam Brainard was pronounced dead at the scene, while Kevin Brainard died in a hospital emergency room from what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound, the news release said.Anyone with information is asked to contact the Otsego Police Department at (269) 692-6111.

November 5, 2007

November 5, 2007
PLAINWELL
(NEWSCHANNEL 3)
http://www.wwmt.com/news/brainard-1344567-police-otsego.html
Police tell us Kevin Brainard, a Plainwell Public Safety officer and volunteer fire-fighter, killed his wife Pam and then ended his own life. It was around ten Sunday night when police were called to the home. It was one of Kevin Brainard's family members who reported a problem.

When investigators made their way inside, they found Pam and Kevin.

People that knew the couple tell us they'd been married for a little over a year. Neighbors on Brookside tell us they had never heard arguing and never had known anything was wrong.

Police found Pam Brainard dead at the couple's Otsego home. They also found Kevin Brainard. He'd been shot, and later died at the emergency room. Investigators are trying to determine what happened in their home that lead to this fatal conclusion.

There is mixed reaction in Allegan County. For many it is the surprise of a lifetime. A mother and father, husband and wife, public safety officer and registered nurse, torn from a small town.

Kevin Brainard, the man police say killed his wife then turned the gun on himself. But why? Why would a man who swore to protect citizens, emotionally cave to murder and suicide?

"You'd never expect this from him or his family and you don't expect this in a town like this,” said Chief Gordan Konkle of the Otsego Police Department.

"He was very verbally abusive and controlling," said one of Pam's best friends. She thinks Kevin snapped. She asked to remain anonymous, painting one nasty picture of her friend's husband. Someone she says Pam threatened to leave last week.

"She couldn't feel comfortable going to the cops because they believed he's one of their own and they were gonna take his side,” said the friend.

But her description of a domestic danger doesn't match the public's perception of Officer Brainard. There is not a single blemish on his career as a public safety officer or volunteer firefighter.

"You'd expect this is a safe place but it just goes to show tragedies like this happen, domestic violence and other issues that come up,” said Chief Konkle.

Chief Konkle worked with Kevin for a number of years as he was a volunteer firefighter in his department. He calls this case very personal and very sensitive for that reason. Autopsies are being performed in Lansing Monday. Police continue to investigate the shootings. If you have information that can help police call them at 269-692-6111.

Plainwells public saftey director Bill Bomar

I'm so angry right now! My second FOIA request is over $1,000! I'm asking for phone records and such from around the time Pam was murdered. After I pay they still have to redact information. I believe that what I think happened did indeed happen.
For three years we have tried to come to terms about Pam's murder. It is so unbelievably hard to do. And knowing there are people who are partly responsible still looking at there children everyday pisses me off! If one of these people did in fact act on Kevin's behaviors maybe they would BOTH be here! If Bill Bomar acted in the proper way on November 2, 2007, Pam would be here with her children! Kyle and Kayla! Bomar did a wrong thing that day that set the ball rolling. And here we are three years later. If we did not have Kayla's custody issues in the beginning and that will continue, a lawsuit against Bomar and friends would be happening! I still have a few more months to make our final decision on this matter.
Anyway I decided to put Bomar's statement from the police report here for you to read. What do you think? I would put Ed's police report statement also but, there is no report! Why is that?
I will be continuing to add more of the police report. I'm doing this so you'll have a chance to read it without having to pay the fee. Also I would like to hear what you think. Please keep checking back. Have a great day and may god bless you!
I'm having technical difficulties will post soon